|Family Justice......Where has it all gone so Wrong?||Family
by E Dean C
From his final letter: "I am due in court the end of the month. The ex-wife's lawyer wants me jailed for back child support. The amount ranges from $2,200. to $3,000. depending on who you ask. Not big money after being separated over ten years and unemployed for the last two. But I do owe it. If I show up for court without the money and the lawyer says jail, then the judge will have the bailiff take me into custody. There really are no surprises on how the system works once you know how it actually works. And it does not work anything like they taught you in high school history or civics class.
I could have made a
phone call or two and borrowed
the money. But I am done being bullied for being a man. I cannot
people in Washington are so stupid to think they can govern Americans
iron fist. Twenty-five years ago, the federal government declared war
It is time now to see how committed they are to their cause. It is
to give them a taste of war. [read
the entire letter]
Utterly defeated by the family court system
The love that my daughter and I shared was truly special. She is a such a sweet, kind and gentle spirit. I am so sorry that I will not be there to see her grow into a beautiful woman. It absolutely crushed me to not be in her life over the last three years. I worked very hard as a father to build her confidence and self-esteem. She is smart, funny and considerate, but she didn't know it yet. I pray that she realizes her strengths and her confidence in herself will continue to grow. I love you dearly, Lily.
My son Jack was just entering Kindergarten, when I lost access to him. He is gregarious, outgoing and a great athlete. He is smart and fearless. He could have just as much fun by himself as he could with other kids. Even the older boys in our neighbourhood wanted to play with Jack. It absolutely breaks my heart that I will not be able to help him grow into a man. I love you to, Jack. I miss you both so much.
My identity was taken from me, as result of this process. When it began, I was a commercial real estate broker with CB Richard Ellis. I lived by the Golden rule and made a living by bringing parties together and finding the common ground. My reputation as a broker was built on my honesty and integrity. When it ended, I was broke, homeless, unemployed and had no visitation with my own children.
I had no confidence and was paralyzed with fear that I would be going to jail whenever my ex-wife wanted. Nothing I could say or do would stop it. This is what being to death or 'targeted' by a psychopath looks like. This is the outcome. I didn't somehow change into a 'high-conflict' person or lose my ability to steer clear of the law. I've had never been arrested, depressed, homeless or suicidal before this process. The stress and pressure applied to me was deliberate and nothing I could do or say would get me any relief. Nothing I or my attorneys said to my ex-wife's attorney or to the Court made any difference. Truth, facts, evidence or even the best interest of my children had no affect on the outcome.
The family court system is broken, but from my experience, it is not the laws, its the lawyers. They feed off of the conflict. They are not hired to reduce conflict or protect the best interest of children, which is why third parties need to be involved. It should be mandatory for children to have a guardian ad litem, with extensive training in abuse and aggression.
It is absolutely shameful that the Fairfax County Court did nothing to intervene or understand the ongoing conflict. Judge Randy Bellows also used the Children as punishment, by withholding access for failing to fax a receipt. The entire conflict centered around the denial of access to the children, it was inconceivable to me that he would use children like this. This is exactly what my ex-wife was doing and now Judge Bellows was doing it for her.
To all my family, friends and the people that supported me through this process, I am so sorry. I know my reactions and behavior throughout this process did not always make sense. None of this made sense to me either. I had no help and the only suggestion I got from my attorneys was to remain silent.
At first, I did what I was told, remained silent and listened to my attorneys. Then after I had given my ex-wife full custody to try and appease her, I learned about Psychopathy and emailed Dr. Samenow about my concerns and asked him for help. Of course, I was ignored. As the conflict continued, I was forced to defend myself. When that didn't work, I thought I could get the help I needed by speaking out. There is no right or wrong way to defend yourself from abuse. Naively, I thought that abuse was abuse and it would be recognized and something would be done. I thought speaking out would end the abuse or at least get them to back off. It didn't. When no one did anything they were emboldened.
I took my own life because I had come to the conclusion that there was nothing I could do or say to end the abuse. Every time I got up off my knees, I would get knocked back down. They were not going to let me be the father I wanted to be to my children. People may think I am a coward for giving up on my children, but I didn't see how I was going to heal from this. I have no money for an attorney, therapy or medication. I have lost four jobs because of this process. I was going to be at their mercy for the rest of my life and they had shown me none.
Being alienated, legally abused, emotionally abused, isolated and financially ruined are all a recipe for suicide. I wish I were stronger to keep going, but the emotional pain and fear of going to court and jail [because of exorbitant child support] became overwhelming. I became paralyzed with fear. I couldn't flee and I could not fight. I was never going to be allowed to heal or recover. I wish I were better at articulating the psychological and emotional trauma I experienced.
I could fill a book with all the lies and mysterious rulings of the Court. Never have I experienced this kind of pain. I asked for help, but good men did nothing and evil prevailed. All I wanted was a Guardian Ad Litem for my children. Any third party would have been easily been able to confirm or refute all of my allegations, which is why none was ever appointed to protect the children or reduce the conflict.
Abuse is about power and control. Stand up for the abused and speak out. If someone speaks out about abuse, believe them.
Please teach my children empathy and about emotional invalidation and 'gas-lighting' or they may end up like me.
God have mercy on my soul.
"We already see the [judiciary] power, installed for life, responsible to no authority (for impeachment is not even a scare-crow), advancing with a noiseless and steady pace to the great object of consolidation. The foundations are already deeply laid by their decisions for the annihilation of constitutional State rights and the removal of every check, every counterpoise to the engulfing power of which themselves are to make a sovereign part." --Thomas Jefferson to William T. Barry, 1822. ME 15:388
"A single government... of the most extensive corruption, indifferent and incapable of a wholesome care over so wide a spread of surface... will not be borne, and you will have to choose between reformation and revolution. If I know the spirit of this country, the one or the other is inevitable. Before the canker is become inveterate, before its venom has reached so much of the body politic as to get beyond control, remedy should be applied." --Thomas Jefferson to William T. Barry, 1822. ME 15:389
- Article 3 Section 1
Family Rights Association
|Background song: Comfortably Numb,
Pink Floyd, Pulse Album. (lyrics link)
|Thomas Jefferson Quotes||
FBI's Anti Corruption link
|The "What was she
Honorable Kathe Tuttman
as she presents in her MA State Bio.
b) Foster Care Abuses
|CorruptCourts.com||a) The Wenatchee
Tragedy (Many book resources on this site)
b) Nat'l Assoc of Family Justice
Rowland's brilliant animation about
a legal intern's view of the system.
||FEDERAL FUNDING CONTRACT
|Book: Exposing the Corruption in the
||Report: Illegally edited hearing tapes in Middlessex Probate Court. Pt.1||PENDING ISSUES
letters to officials, cases, etc.
"Giving Fathers a Chance"
Massive Human Rights Abuses
-Lawrence Eagle Tribune-
Domestic terror-an epidemic
CBS News "48 Hours" Chamber Of Secrets - A pregnant mother's undercover ordeal to keep her children.
The Plight of Divorced Dads
|Very revealing letter from the
Letter: Gene Wrona > Mitt Romney
re: Tyranny -Mitt (then Governor and family values mormon) does nothing.
Letter: Court tampering with hearing tapes
Letter: Center for Individual Rights regarding tampering of materials
Letter: Stephen Baskerville, Assoc. Professor, Howard University
|Pleas to the
Videos the media are not making any big deal out of...
Unpopular for ratings?
Children need both parents
Thomas Jefferson Quotes - Judiciary
7. Child of divorce testimony
8. Carol Rhodes Former FOC Enforcement Officer
9. Carol Rhodes exposes the corrupt child support agencies.
10. Activist Barbara Johnson Disbarment Hearing in front of SJC.
11. Activist Barbara Johnson Contempt Hearing in front of SJC
12. John Rowland's brilliant animation about a legal intern's view of the system.
| Are you a court
system employee? Want to clear your
Make a point?
[Email our liason]
(Anonymity guaranteed if desired)
Help needed to find an article from
Volume 3, #1, Winter 1998,
"Massachusetts Becoming a
has TV News and journalism gone so wrong....why aren't they covering
One point of view
by E.Dean C.
Great website resources for
Ron Lasorsa's must read book on restraining order abuse